Men are picky. When it comes to women, men are attracted by different qualities. Women always want to know how to find a man, but unfortunately there is no universal answer. As a starting guide, here are 9 things men want in a woman. Some of these qualities can help you find your dream guy.

Men want a woman who’s attractive.  Men often say that the moment a woman is comfortable with the relationship, he suddenly finds himself in bed with a woman wearing an oversized t-shirt with a beer slogan written across the chest. Just because women are in a relationship or married doesn’t mean that they should not keep them-selves looking fabulous.

Men want a woman who genuinely wants them.  It is a huge turn-off to a man when he feels that a woman only values him for what he is willing or able to provide for her monetarily.

Men want a woman who sexually satisfies them.  Very simply put, when in a relationship, if the man is not satisfied sexually, he will look elsewhere. Sometimes women will mistakenly think that her boyfriend or husband doesn’t care that much about sex just because he doesn’t make a big fuss over the fact that she is not making an effort. Sex is extremely important to all men and a vital part of an intimate relationship.

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Men want a woman who shares common interest.  There is a popular saying that “opposites attract,” but men say this is NOT true personality-wise. It is very important to share some interests, especially things like working out and social activities.

Men want a woman who likes his friends.  A man loves to show his friends that he has a great relationship, someone who is “in his camp” and “on his side.” He hopes that his friends will think she is just as special as he does, and that she will like them too. Gals, even if you think your honey’s friends are major “buffoons,” you’ll be sorry if you force him to choose between them and you.

Men want a woman who has a domestic side. A lot of women today are working long hours in high-powered careers, and just don’t have much time for domestic duties. But a man likes to see that “feminine” side of a woman. When he smells food cooking, or sees feminine touches such as flowers or pictures of family around the house, it makes him feel like women can provide domestic needs and are a “necessary half” of life. He can count on her to truly make the house feel like a “home,” a “sanctuary.”

Men want a woman who is intelligent. Contrary to “popular” opinion, most men are not looking for the “dumb blonde.” Yes, a man likes to look at those women who readily display their “sexual side,” but nothing is sexier than an intelligent, well-spoken woman.

Men want a woman who has an easygoing attitude. Men really dislike women who they consider “a nag,” and who is not flexible. Men like women who are “easygoing” and easy to be with. Men define a nag as someone who is constantly complaining no matter what.

Men don’t need a woman who will cater to his every need. Men enjoy a woman who is independent. They really like a woman who has her own interests and something that she cares about. When I ask my male clients if they care what kind of job the woman has 95% of the time they will answer, “I don’t care what she does as long as she has a job and it is something that she enjoys or is passionate about.”

A Beverly Hills Matchmaker, Marla Martenson is the author of Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting.