Six years ago, I was hopelessly single. I couldn’t understand it. I had a great family and a wonderful circle of friends, but my true love was nowhere in sight. What is true love? I had no idea how to attract love or how to meet my soul mate.

It became the budding joke at every event—who will I bring tonight? I thought about my lack of love constantly, and even wrote about it in a funny bantering way—the girl who only attracted “classic non-committal men”. I needed a hard lesson on how to find true love. I literally became the person I thought I was—single, career oriented with an embarrassing collection of designer purses. Attracting love wasn’t on my radar. Looking back, I probably watched too much “Sex and the City.”

Later that year, with my love life floundering, I took a coaching course for work at NYU. As part of the course, we had to be “coached” by a classmate. There were 7 areas we could receive coaching in: Career (check), Finance (check), Fun (no problem), Physical Environment (check), Wellness (tackled that one many years ago), Personal Development (check), or Relationships (SOS!).

I was very resistant to this exercise, and I didn’t reveal much to my classmate about my love life. Instead, we used our sessions as time to chat.

I decided to come clean to the professor, who I much admired, and told him I needed a little coaching in the area of love and relationships. He knew the answer as soon as I started to speak. He said, “You have convinced yourself you are meant to be single, so you will be single. It’s the Law of Attraction, Jennifer. You know it very well in class.”

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And I did know the Law of Attraction very well, but for some reason I didn’t see how this applied to my love life and relationships. My professor coached me for only a half hour, but it was life changing. Now, I am married to my best friend and we have a beautiful 21 month old daughter.

So, what is the best way to attract love? Here are four easy tips to find your true love.

1. Be Yourself

Throw out the rules, throw out the games. Real love comes from an authentic place so you must be who you are without bogging yourself down with nonsense. None of us are perfect—a true love will see the beauty in our flaws!

2. A Smile is Our Best Accessory

Forget about the notion that you have to look a certain way or go to certain places to find love. Live the best version of your life possible. Do things that bring you real joy. People are attracted to those who are happy and content! Decide to be happy, and let your face show it. Your love life will thank you!

3. Focus Deeply on How You Want to Attract Love

Create a list of qualities you want from a soul mate. Make sure your relationship qualities come from a deep place, not a shallow one! The deeper connection you have to the attributes you are looking for, the more likely you will be to attract true love into your life. Write qualities that will compliment who you are, and add balance to your already fabulous life!

4. Make Space for a Mate

If your closet is too full to fit another pair of shoes, why shop for more? If your life is jam packed and you are always with people, does the universe have time to send you someone else? By “filling” our schedules to avoid being alone, that gives the wrong message to the world! Relationships need time. By making space, we are sending a signal that we are available!

Known as “Coach Jenn” on Rachael Ray, Jennifer Tuma-Young has appeared on over 300 radio, television, and news programs as a coach and motivator.

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