By lupe, Friday, March 13, 2009 10:42:19 PM
i ask why?????????????????????????????????????????????? Newspaper article full version In 3 more days it will have been two months since Meli's death, and her departure pains me today just as it did that very moment that i found her cold and lifeless. It is as if each second of my life someone is cutting open my heart in two and adding salt to that wound. It feels as if my soul died with her. Every time that I go into her room, which is countless times a day, I relive that horror of her leaving; I ask God where he was. Why didn't he allow me to save her? Why didn't he let me find her in time? Why didn't he choose me to take her place? I would have been ready to do that for her; I would do the same for any of my other children. As I write this, I am in her bedroom asking for answers to questions as I read over letters that she left me at different times. I tremble from pain and from anger at the futility of it all. It is so ironic, just a few months ago she and I had a long conversation about life, death, injustice, and the hypocrisy with which she was living through at that time;the pain that her boyfriend and another teen caused her. I remember that I told her: "Look, this flower; it is very pretty and so are you. Neither you nor any one else should cry over someone. You can do better than that." Her answer was: "It is not fairl everything that is happening to me. I hate going to school. I hate the schools here in Andrews. If you don't have money, if you're not the son or daughter of a rich person, if you are not of the right color, and if you are not the teacher's pet then you are nothing. You are left out. And they take away what you once had an what you worked so hard to achieve." I told her that in life nothing was fair; but, but that there was always an answer, and that things had a way of working out. I told her that death was no solution. She smiled at me and said: "Mami, there is no answer in standing up for myself against some people, I was sent to Saturday school. In cheer leading I was taken out even though I used to get up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to practice; then they replaced me with someone who used to miss countless times. But since she was seen as more favorable. Since then my world started crashing. I sure hope Crystal doesn't have to go through this" "It also isn't fair, Mami, all the times you have gone to school asking for help and they don't give it to you. The school does things as it sees fit. It is like my coach said when I lost my place at Nationals and was placed as an alternate, 'I hope it's ok because if not, you can get out. There are several that can take your place.'" "You see, Mami. I am tired of being hurt, tired of constantly coming home crying. I am tired of putting on a happy face and pretending that nothing matters after being hurt countless times. I lock myself in my room so that no one sees my pain." Many saw my daughter; she went through thousands of things, but only I saw her tears, her pain and her disenchantment. Many people contributed to her decision. Even I myself contributed to it because in the beginning when I found the first letters some months back in which she said goodbye, I did ask for help. That person that I reached to for help told me: "I guarantee that she is not going to do anything. She just wants attention." I hope that professional who told me that saw the obituary so that she can see if my daughter is now getting her attention. I wonder if all that is sufficient for that person. If she is paying, maybe she will not give such advice again. Hopefully the school is paying closer attention. Meli with her death, ironic as it is, has saved already more than one life. She has also opened a Pandora's box. Andrews is going to realize that indeed there is a problem in our schools with some of the personnel, some of the leaders, and with our youth. Like Meli said: "If we all dropped the act and the injustice; if instead we worked together, we would change not only Andrews but the entire world." I remember her smiling as she told me: "Why can't we all instead be friends, Mami?" I only hope that through her death others can identify their own feelings. If they too are suffering, hopefully they will not ignore it because the pain will remain. Choosing to ignore problems and pain will not make them go away. The problem will grow each day like a monster. So I ask that everyone help our youth. Don't allow a single young person to die in this manner. Don't let another mother die from pain as she continues living. Right now I am not sure hot to go about living; I sometimes don't want to go on. My life has been changed forever. I feel empty. I am in tears and in pain. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Right now I should be saving for her Christmas present which was going to be the down payment on her new Avalanche. Instead, I'm saving for her tombstone. I should be seeing that her college applications be sent in on time and not putting flowers at her grave. May God hold my princess in His arms. May He give her peace and the justice that no one here wanted to give her. Melissa's mom, Lupe Flores

By Ruth, Monday, December 22, 2008 06:19:36 AM
I Love you and I Thank-you my Angels for loving me alway's and unconditionally, and for alway's letting me know I'm not alone until I cross back over. Lanney911

By Barbara, Saturday, December 20, 2008 12:50:23 AM
Thank you my angels for always being there for me to talk to, thanks for listening and for all that you do! I LOVE YOU!!!

By Gloria, Friday, December 19, 2008 07:57:44 PM
To my sweet angel...Thank you every day of my life for supporting me and speaking to me softly and lovingly and perhaps a little louder at other times due to my stubborness and ego at times! I love you and look forward to meeting you one day when it is time to go home! You're the best! Love, Gloria

By sandy, Friday, December 19, 2008 05:04:36 PM
angels who watch over mine and myself... I want to send love and thank you's for the many blessings you have given all. May you bless us this coming year and all through the rest of this one. Love, sandy from Palm Coast, fl.

By Linda, Friday, December 19, 2008 11:05:03 AM
To my angels, just know that I think of you daily and I so appreciate all that you have done for me and mine. I know that you have always been there for me and will still do so. Thank you so much for being my angels. Linda

By Janice, Friday, December 19, 2008 10:00:16 AM
my dearest angels...will my health and finances get any better..Jan

By Lorraine, Friday, December 19, 2008 02:57:44 AM
Please angels,,,Will Dallas and I be intimate romantic relationship?