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Home >> Love >> Love Articles


The 10 Commandments of Dating
10 Commandments of Dating

Dating is difficult. I know first hand how dating can be a wild ride. Based on my experience, here are 10 rules for the first date that I follow religiously. These are my 10 commandments for the first date.

 

Tame your jitters. This is the best method to be comfortable on the first date. Remember that this is just a first date. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself thinking about where the relationship is going. One of the easiest ways to get thrown off balance is to worry about what the heck your date thinks of you. You should be evaluating your date! Pay attention to what he’s saying so that you’ll be able to decide…if he is worthy of you.

 

Be mysterious. Even if you feel very comfortable with your date and feel like you can talk to him about anything, keep a bit of mystery about you. He doesn’t need to know your whole life story on the first date.



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Be open to someone who doesn’t fit your usual profile of the perfect man. Don’t be too picky on the first date. I know that we all have our “dream man” pictured in our head. “He must be over six feet five.” “If he doesn’t make at least a million a year, I won’t meet him.” “I don’t date Scorpios or Virgos.” “I would never date an attorney.” Be a tad bit more open-minded, and you may discover that a 5'9" man is a lot easier to access for smooching, or that the Scorpio who you just gave a chance to has a Libra moon and has you over the moon in love. Or that handsome young attorney that you almost turned down is suddenly making a great case on why he’s such a great catch! 


Wear something feminine and classy on the first date. Stiletto heels, a mini skirt and your cleavage spilling out all over so that the poor guy can’t even maintain eye contact is not a way to make a good impression on a first date. Did you realize that a man analyzes a woman on a first date, picturing whether he would take her to a business function or to meet his friends or family?

 

Be a good listener. This is an important rule on the first date. A man loves to talk about himself and his accomplishments, but then again, who doesn’t? He needs to know that you are interested in him. If you just go on and on about yourself, showing no interest in him, he will come to the conclusion that you are self-centered and not want to see you again.

        

Be careful how much alcohol you consume on a first date. This can be quite dangerous because you will probably let at least a few things slip from your ever so slightly lipstick-smudged lips that you will definitely regret manana! You also run the risk of engaging in frisky and rather risky behavior on a first date that you normally would save for much later in the relationship. Don’t disobey this rule on the first date or the chances of a second date can disappear.



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Avoid talking about astrology and past lives. The guy will probably think that you are strange and flaky. So reserve that topic for discussions with your girlfriends.

 

If you are desperate to have a baby! Pleeeeeeeease do not bring up this subject, even if your last egg is about to drop! Perhaps you’ve waited too long to start a family and now are in a panic and looking for the future father of your child with more determination than the U.S. forces hunting Osama Bin Laden! But you are on a first date with a man. You want a comfortable first date with no pressure. He does not want or need that pressure. He doesn’t even know if he wants a second date with you, let alone whether he’ll want to father your children!

 

Keep up on current events. I can’t tell you how many times a gentleman has mentioned to me that he is looking for a lady who is intelligent and can hold a stimulating conversation. A man wants to know that you can hold your own if he takes you to a business affair. 

 

Avoid answering your cell phone during dinner. This is a real turn-off and might be the number one rule on the first date. Here the poor guy is trying to impress you and show you a good time. Please turn off your cell phone, your pager, your Blackberry, and give this wonderful gentleman your full attention for the evening.

 


A Beverly Hill Matchmaker, Marla Martenson is the author of Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting.




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Comments


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By Valerie, Monday, October 13, 2008 03:47:14 AM
Okay, So I've broken so many of those "rules" it's no wonder I'm still single! Another rule I'll add to the list for myself "wear underwear!"
By Sandra, Sunday, September 21, 2008 03:59:19 AM
Dear Rozelle, Thank you for taking the time to care for another person. I thank you for your advice, and yes I am aware of the nigerian scams. I was not born yesterday(unfortunately). : ) What I am talking about goes much deeper than a few e-mails and a couple of phone calls. Since then i have check this person out. No time for stupid mistakes. It works out that he was more than honest. I know every member of his family and he does mine. I know about his parents and brothers and sister, and he does about mine. So, as you see we are well educated and smart. We both belong to a selective group of artists (were we met). He is a very well known public figure... and I am too. So no, we don't have very many secrets. And a lot to loose if we do not do the right thing. No, money has been asked from me or to him. So, now. Just answer my question: How do I supposed to act when we meet? (I know that for sure). Tickets on hand, art shows scheduled, and much more.. .January is the MONTH!!!
By rozelle, Tuesday, September 16, 2008 01:49:23 AM
SANDRA/SANDMARK. . google NIGERIAN DATING SCAMS and see what you get. . .you man may not live in nigeria, but these scams are very popular in other african countries and throughout the world as well. . .there are many others like yourself that are being scammed as we speak. . .god bless and pls take care of yourself and DONT SEND ANY MONEY (because you will never see it again) for your sake i sure hope i am wrong. . .
By rozelle, Tuesday, September 16, 2008 01:31:59 AM
This is for SANDRA or SANDMARK - you asked for help with the man you have never met and will pick up at the airport . . .sweetie, WAIT, may i ask you what country this person is coming from??? how do you know they are actually going to come?? have they asked you to send them money in advance? do you know that there are thousands of scam artists that do this to trusting, lonely women?? start up a relationship over the internet, ask for money to various reasons, say they are going to come and finally meet at the airport. . .and you never see them... i am not trying to hurt you, as an international phone operator I hear this kind of thing all the time. . .let's say he is legitimate. . .honey, you are not in love until you meet the person and actually have a real live conversation with them. . .not just who they present themselves to be over the email. i hope to give you sage advice and help you prepare for reality should things not work out the way you wanted. please be careful and keep me posted on this site as to how things work out. god bless sweetie and i hope and pray the best for you. . .
By Sandra, Sunday, September 14, 2008 07:48:03 PM
Ok, You all can help me with this. I have been e-mailing w/ a man for almost a year... We think we are dead inlove with each other. However we havenot actualy met. So, my question is... When I meet hin and go to pick him up to the airport. How should I dress (considrering that will be winter in the mid-west). Brrrrh!! and when I take him to my house should we just talk and start the relationship in a cool caring way (after a 30 hour flight)... Or act desperate as we are??/ : ) Suggestions Welcome!! PLEASE!! Sandmark.
By jacqueline, Monday, August 18, 2008 08:38:18 PM
I am a single mom to a beautiful two year old and when the right time comes I want to find a man eventually you say to keep a mystery about me but I do not want to come off as deceiving I am pretty sure that I should tell him I'm a mom right off the bat.
By Prasanna, Friday, August 15, 2008 03:05:15 AM
The 10 commands cannot be kept in remembrance. But everyone must have a niche of it in their mind always. Because these are simple rules to be followed which will give the fruits of happiness with the partners. By this, we can have a long lasting relationship which will make us to feel the heaven.
By Elma, Saturday, August 09, 2008 10:38:28 AM
Most of the time, the goal of first dates is to put your best foot forward. You don't want to turn off a potential partner by displaying a dark side of you. But in doing so, we sometimes forget to be our real selves. First dates are exploratory. Relax, let it flow, don't over-analyze it. The goal should be to get to know another person, discover shared interests and learn about something new.
By Melvin, Sunday, July 27, 2008 02:16:57 AM
"Be careful how much alcohol you consume on a first date. " This funny because it might even make you say bad words to your date. Here in Philippines, it's not a culture to drink alcohol in dates so it is not a problem.
By Melvin, Thursday, July 24, 2008 06:44:03 AM
"Avoid answering your cell phone during dinner. This is a real turn-off and might be the number one rule on the first date." Haha, this is what I am always doing. It's ironic that when I am with someone I always have phone calls and I mean important calls so the conversation is longer than expected.

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