How To Deal With Emotional Baggage
Some of us know that we want a long-term relationship “some day,” but we need to deal with some “emotional baggage” that may have been inflicted on us in our childhoods or our previous relationships first. Learning how to deal with emotional baggage is not easy.
Unhappy childhoods aren’t the only events that can leave emotional baggage. Sometimes our previous romantic relationships can affect our readiness for a “worthy” partner. Oftentimes, after a relationship ends, we’re tempted to jump into another one to help us forget the break-up or to somehow wreak “revenge” on our former mate for dumping or hurting us. But these “rebound relationships” are rarely successful.
Looking for Love? Need Advice? Get answers NOW. Try it FREE! Click Here or Call 888-779-0033
Usually, the new person is chosen in haste, and therefore isn’t someone of quality or someone with whom we have a lot in common. And often when the person realizes that they’re just being used to meet your emotional needs, they will high-tail it out of the relationship as quickly as they can. Emotional baggage will destroy any chance of happiness. When the new relationship ends, you are now forced to deal with a brand-new break-up, as well as the issues that were never resolved from the previous break-up.
If you’ve just broken up with someone, give it time. Give yourself a chance to get to know “yourself” again. If you’re still looking for your former flame’s car to pass on the street, if you’re waiting for his call or you still cry when you see another person with bright blue eyes like he had, you’re not ready to “move on.” No matter what it takes, you must learn how to deal with emotional baggage. You need to make peace with the end of your relationship before you can devote your time and emotions to someone else.
A Beverly Hills Matchmaker, Marla Martenson is the author of Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting.
Get a FREE Live Psychic Reading! Need Advice on Love, Money, Your Future? Click Here or Call 888-779-0033
By Kathy, Saturday, August 01, 2009 01:46:02 PM
Nice article but the title should really be: "Are you ready to deal with emotional baggage?" There's no advice in here on how to deal with it. Anyone have advice out there? I could use some.
By Jennifer, Wednesday, October 15, 2008 07:07:29 PM
Yes I feel it is very important to always wait before getting into a new relationship...very good advice!! Unfortunately I have come to find out I waited over 2 yrs before getting into another relationship but still had emotional baggage rearing it's ugly head..well it was hard but I have learned to forget about it because it almost destroyed my new relationship...so I guess it just depends on the person and if they can deal with it before they meet someone new...or if they think they have until they meet that new person. Jennifer
By Annette, Wednesday, August 20, 2008 09:13:56 AM
I agree with Naomi. This does not help with childhood emotional baggage. That is the most serious area a help I need.
By netizen, Tuesday, August 12, 2008 05:43:22 AM
I agree with Naomi. Dealing with emotional baggage from childhood is a long drawn-out process.Some issues are buried so deep that even we are not aware of them, yet they dictate our reactions to people and events. You also need a great deal of objectivity and self-honesty.
By Elma, Saturday, August 09, 2008 10:34:29 AM
It is most unfair to jump into another relationship right after getting out of one. And that's for all parties concerned. Doing so just proves how little importance you have for the previous relationship and partner. I'd like to believe that even if you end a relationship, some part of it is worth cherishing, because it was once a part of your life. Heal, move on, give yourself time for you. Often we forget that we must give ourselves importance. That will also be the perfect time to get rid of any emotional baggage so you can eventually enter into a relationship with a clean slate.
By Prasanna, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 11:45:23 AM
As lavern says, friends and time are the best healers i have ever seen. I think that one should have atleast one close friend with whom, he or she can share everything. Do not mess up with things if it get failed. You always have another door opened for you. Nothing is lost in your life until you loose your confidence. Show your attitude to overcome emotional baggage.
By Lavern, Monday, July 21, 2008 06:13:48 AM
I agree a lot with the last paragraph. When you are hurting do not jump to so soon to another relationship. They say time is a great healer, and I do agree. Go out with your friends, fine you can sulk the whole day or week or month but not years of course. There is lot of people around you who believes in you and you can be a better person with out your partner.
By Melvin, Tuesday, July 15, 2008 07:10:15 PM
This is a good read. Many people really suffer from the blast of the past. And I think it is easier said than done. People who were hurt before really needs time to find himself again and to be able to get back on his own track.
By Prasanna, Friday, July 11, 2008 11:27:54 AM
No one should ever allow emotional baggage to overwrite his/her happiness. One must forget the past bitter fruits inorder to reap the fruits of happiness in the present and future. Who had left you in your life do not deserver your life. So do not waste your energy. There may be another person waiting to fill the vacancy in a much better way.
By lorraine, Monday, June 30, 2008 10:59:36 PM
Thanks, this is positive advice and I agree and appreciate it all. Please do keep up the good work!!!
Lorraine, monday ,June 30,2008 10:59PM.
You must log in to post a comment. If you don't already have a My Spirit Now account,
sign up now.