Finding our true love involves chemistry. How to be irresistible is a complex equation! I know there are pheromones in play, another mysterious idea, and probably a lot of other factors to finding true love. Even with platonic friendships, we tend to gravitate more to certain people we find attractive, while others turn us off. Thus, we want to vibrationally pull into our experience only those fabulous souls who we find irresistible, with whom we have electrifying chemistry!

And when it comes to chemistry and finding out how to be irresistible, there is the conscious part and the unconscious part. For instance, there are certain things that almost everyone finds attractive. Men tend to be attracted to features that suggest youth and fertility—often an ample bust, a slim body, and soft facial features. Women tend to be drawn to tall men with broad shoulders and masculine features. They also like men who appear to have wealth or the ability to acquire it because they want to feel as if the man can support the family.

Everyone has their own taste, but biology has a lot to do with what we find attractive. This unconscious part, which we call “chemistry,” is actually pheromones. A pheromone is any chemical produced by a living organism that transmits a message to other members of the same species.

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There are three stages of falling in love. First, there is lust. It is driven by our sex hormones: testosterone and estrogen. Then there is attraction, I like to call it the lovesick phase, during which you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and it feels like you have butterflies in your stomach. You are falling in love, caused by a surge of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. The third stage of falling in love is attachment, which keeps couples together. But this is where it gets dangerous for women.

Do you ever wonder why, after making out or making love with someone new, you immediately want to be in an exclusive relationship with him? Perhaps you even think you are in love with him! It’s because the chemicals (oxytocin and vasopressin) cause you to “attach” and want to “nest,” which can cause us to make really bad choices in men.

We can even know in our head that the guy is not right, but we suddenly feel attached and wonder why he’s not calling. We are checking our voice mail, e-mail, Blackberry, and pager, waiting for his call. Women should be taught this in school, “Girls, beware of the oxytocin! It could ruin your life!”

So, when people talk about being irrestible, there’s no doubt chemistry plays a huge role in finding true love. It’s like Cupid’s arrow shooting you with a magic potion. That’s the power of pheromones. They are present in underarm perspiration and are detected by a small organ composed of a few small pits a few centimeters up the nose. Many factors, including hormones, genetics, metabolism, and diet, influence the odor that emanates from our sweat. So, maybe you want to think again before using your antiperspirant!

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