Is Commitment Necessary for Love to Exist?
Most psychologists and relationship experts maintain that love does not really exist unless there is a commitment in the relationship. If someone says they love you but they are not committed, then you are not necessarily looking at true love. You might be looking at relationship that is governed by lust, need, guilt, or other factors.
Still, there might be mitigating factors that can keep a person in a non-committed relationship. A person in one of these types of relationships might have financial obligations and obligations to children and pets in place. Sometimes these relationships thrive despite obstacles. This is because distance and passing time without the couple seeing each other makes the heart grow fonder. It also often makes the sex life better.
The problem with non-committed relationships is that they can make one or both partners feel very insecure. In fact, they can be torture. The lack of commitment can become a negative central focus for the life of one partner. Many people stay in these relationships because they feel alone.
If you are wondering if a man is committed to you, then just ask him. The problem is that most men hate being quizzed about commitment. It is better to look at his behavior.
When a man is interested, he asks you out. If you have to think about every word he said until your head hurts and you call him, then he is probably not committed to you no matter what he says. If he's not making plans to see you, he's not pursuing you. When a man is attracted to you, he finds a way to be near you -- he tries to be helpful. If he is just seeing you every now and then, then it is just a booty call?
Men have a lot of reasons for not committing to you. Sometimes they have not quite healed from the damage done to them by a former love. Sometimes they are even still living with a former love and seeing you on the side. Some avoid commitment to a new woman because it will mean leaving someone else and a nasty divorce. Some people just donít want to risk going through another divorce if it does not work out with you.
Some men simply wonít commit because they are happy with their life as it is and they feel that if there was a woman in it that they would be tied down and unhappy. Some men are like hunters and find the courting phase to be the most interesting part of any relationship. They may even feel that you are not the right person, but they like the sex and are not prepared to tell you that they are only in it for the sex.
Most relationship experts suggest asking your partner about the future and if he or she is not on the same page as you, then move on. In some cases, drawing back forces the other person to a commitment. If not, then at least you have a chance to find the committed love you deserve.