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By lupe, Thursday, March 12, 2009 12:58:38 AM
i want to go were she is ......................... Newspaper article full version In 3 more days it will have been two months since Meli's death, and her departure pains me today just as it did that very moment that i found her cold and lifeless. It is as if each second of my life someone is cutting open my heart in two and adding salt to that wound. It feels as if my soul died with her. Every time that I go into her room, which is countless times a day, I relive that horror of her leaving; I ask God where he was. Why didn't he allow me to save her? Why didn't he let me find her in time? Why didn't he choose me to take her place? I would have been ready to do that for her; I would do the same for any of my other children. As I write this, I am in her bedroom asking for answers to questions as I read over letters that she left me at different times. I tremble from pain and from anger at the futility of it all. It is so ironic, just a few months ago she and I had a long conversation about life, death, injustice, and the hypocrisy with which she was living through at that time;the pain that her boyfriend and another teen caused her. I remember that I told her: "Look, this flower; it is very pretty and so are you. Neither you nor any one else should cry over someone. You can do better than that." Her answer was: "It is not fairl everything that is happening to me. I hate going to school. I hate the schools here in Andrews. If you don't have money, if you're not the son or daughter of a rich person, if you are not of the right color, and if you are not the teacher's pet then you are nothing. You are left out. And they take away what you once had an what you worked so hard to achieve." I told her that in life nothing was fair; but, but that there was always an answer, and that things had a way of working out. I told her that death was no solution. She smiled at me and said: "Mami, there is no answer in standing up for myself against some people, I was sent to Saturday school. In cheer leading I was taken out even though I used to get up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to practice; then they replaced me with someone who used to miss countless times. But since she was seen as more favorable. Since then my world started crashing. I sure hope Crystal doesn't have to go through this" "It also isn't fair, Mami, all the times you have gone to school asking for help and they don't give it to you. The school does things as it sees fit. It is like my coach said when I lost my place at Nationals and was placed as an alternate, 'I hope it's ok because if not, you can get out. There are several that can take your place.'" "You see, Mami. I am tired of being hurt, tired of constantly coming home crying. I am tired of putting on a happy face and pretending that nothing matters after being hurt countless times. I lock myself in my room so that no one sees my pain." Many saw my daughter; she went through thousands of things, but only I saw her tears, her pain and her disenchantment. Many people contributed to her decision. Even I myself contributed to it because in the beginning when I found the first letters some months back in which she said goodbye, I did ask for help. That person that I reached to for help told me: "I guarantee that she is not going to do anything. She just wants attention." I hope that professional who told me that saw the obituary so that she can see if my daughter is now getting her attention. I wonder if all that is sufficient for that person. If she is paying, maybe she will not give such advice again. Hopefully the school is paying closer attention. Meli with her death, ironic as it is, has saved already more than one life. She has also opened a Pandora's box. Andrews is going to realize that indeed there is a problem in our schools with some of the personnel, some of the leaders, and with our youth. Like Meli said: "If we all dropped the act and the injustice; if instead we worked together, we would change not only Andrews but the entire world." I remember her smiling as she told me: "Why can't we all instead be friends, Mami?" I only hope that through her death others can identify their own feelings. If they too are suffering, hopefully they will not ignore it because the pain will remain. Choosing to ignore problems and pain will not make them go away. The problem will grow each day like a monster. So I ask that everyone help our youth. Don't allow a single young person to die in this manner. Don't let another mother die from pain as she continues living. Right now I am not sure hot to go about living; I sometimes don't want to go on. My life has been changed forever. I feel empty. I am in tears and in pain. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Right now I should be saving for her Christmas present which was going to be the down payment on her new Avalanche. Instead, I'm saving for her tombstone. I should be seeing that her college applications be sent in on time and not putting flowers at her grave. May God hold my princess in His arms. May He give her peace and the justice that no one here wanted to give her. Melissa's mom, Lupe Flores
By naomi, Tuesday, February 24, 2009 11:52:11 PM
If you have confirmed with God that you want to be a Mystical Traveller, then that contract is definitely confirmed, real, and yours to have. :) Read the Mystical Traveller Book by Sylvia Browne, to inform you in what a Mystical Travellers life is like. Even if you do not wish to become a Mystical Traveller; there is still a lot of valuable lifetime learning enlightenment in this uplifting book.
By Anida, Thursday, February 12, 2009 11:41:43 AM
Sylvia I believe that I am a mystical travler. I've been wanting and have been wanting to be closer to God. I have taken stepws to be closer to him. In doing so I have learned so much. Its been told that I have a psychic ability, that i believe is called an empath. And I am in school to train for a career in teachiong. Am I right to believe I am a mystical traveler.
By naomi, Tuesday, January 27, 2009 01:51:08 AM
I don't know if everyone sees 3 reacurring throughout thier life. Maybe the next person will see a lot of 4 of something, or 2's or whatever their lucky number is. I am not an expert. But I think its good luck. And I'm positive its a sign that God is watching and reassuring you they are here, watching, protecting, and smiling to reassuringly say HI :)
By naomi, Tuesday, January 27, 2009 01:46:42 AM
I see 3 of everything for years now. I read that it means you are following your chart and you are on track. It is also a way for God to say hello I am watching over you, I am here. That is what I always beleived. Well... at least since I noticed it was happening. I find it conforting, and amazing all at once. I always say, Hi God I know you are here, thanks :) and I feel better already. 3rd day of the month I found my pet cat, and he was 3 years old, and they had him at the SPCA for 3 days. My house number adds up to 3. (I just recently noticed that) 3 numbers in a row (any 3 numbers) always seem to be on the clock when I glance up at the digital. My husband even laughs and says that I'm stareing at the clock. I said, (and I know for a fact) "I am not staring at the clock, I just happened to glance up like twice today at the clock and I saw 3 number 4's on the clock." So it's amusing and its amazing how often it shows up. I like it.
By Darline, Monday, January 26, 2009 02:12:24 PM
I'm sorry I mispelled Assention on my previaous comment.
By Darline, Monday, January 26, 2009 02:08:07 PM
Since I was young, I have felt the assetion of myself. I have made many trips in my dreams during my 58 years hear on this planet. I've wanted to help others by healing them but didn't know how. I have not read the Mystical Traveler as of yet. I will get it and read it soon. What does the numbers 333 mean? I see that all the time. I saw it for 9 months every morning on my digital clock, while I was pregnant with my son. I have started seeing it again, now that he will be 26 years old in June. Am I a Mystical Traveler?
By Ellen, Sunday, January 25, 2009 08:02:43 PM
I just read this article and the subsequent posts. Ultimately, I cried as I felt my spirit soar! I have been walking a path that has been no less than awesome. I am 52 years old and I have joy in my life as I've never experienced before. The path to get where I am was a long and sometimes hard one. The difficulties, in hindsight, were self made, yet the lessons I've learned along the path have brought me to a level of joy, EVEN in strife, can not be measured. I've known 'things' my whole life. I've been literally PLUCKED from one location to the next by circumstances that Can NOT possibly be accidental. I have always had an unsettled spirit that would nag me "if I'm ready yet. I's so thrilled to have found these posts that lets me know that for absolute certain I'm on the right track. The number 11 surrounds me all the time. I'm aware of it appearing to me yet I was not aware of it's meaning until now...thank you very much. Anybody know of a forum or such that I can come hang out with!!! I would love to hear from anyone. Thanks, and thanks for being here. It was no accident that I found this.
By Linda, Thursday, January 22, 2009 11:52:08 PM
Teresa, the same thing happened to me. I felt that I had lost touch too after believing someone who told me I was misguided( polite for "conned by the devil") Sadly, it took several years for me because I needed to learn to trust myself. Be patient and don't quit praying and talking/listening with your guides. That connection WILL return and it will be better and stronger for the perseverance you are showing. I learned how to tell what was true and not blindly accept too. Maybe I needed time to mature enough to know the truth and confident enough to not be swayed by others.
By michele, Thursday, January 22, 2009 03:28:53 PM
This message is for all of you wonderful souls who have been horrifically misguided by souls who have yet to be enlightened. It is my honest opinion that the younger we are when we hear "the call to serve", the easier it is to grow into. I was the ripe age of 10. My first clear insight came as my maternal grandfather was returning home. Many things that could not be explained happened in my life. I was raised in a small town in WV. Even my own Mom didn't understand what I was experiencing, she thought I was worshiping "the devil". I am sure she knows the truth now. But enough of me. I just wanted you to know that there are many of us who truely do understand the depth of all of the emotion surrounding your rejection. We love that you did not give up, but continue to fight and serve Them. Please continue to plant those columns of light everywhere you go. You should know that we are everywhere and we tend to stumble upon others like us when we need it the most. Darkness cannot exist in the presence of light! Keep shining! Page: 1 2 You must log in to post a comment. If you don't already have a My Spirit Now account, sign up now. |