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By lupe, Thursday, March 12, 2009 01:03:01 AM
\ Newspaper article full version In 3 more days it will have been two months since Meli's death, and her departure pains me today just as it did that very moment that i found her cold and lifeless. It is as if each second of my life someone is cutting open my heart in two and adding salt to that wound. It feels as if my soul died with her. Every time that I go into her room, which is countless times a day, I relive that horror of her leaving; I ask God where he was. Why didn't he allow me to save her? Why didn't he let me find her in time? Why didn't he choose me to take her place? I would have been ready to do that for her; I would do the same for any of my other children. As I write this, I am in her bedroom asking for answers to questions as I read over letters that she left me at different times. I tremble from pain and from anger at the futility of it all. It is so ironic, just a few months ago she and I had a long conversation about life, death, injustice, and the hypocrisy with which she was living through at that time;the pain that her boyfriend and another teen caused her. I remember that I told her: "Look, this flower; it is very pretty and so are you. Neither you nor any one else should cry over someone. You can do better than that." Her answer was: "It is not fairl everything that is happening to me. I hate going to school. I hate the schools here in Andrews. If you don't have money, if you're not the son or daughter of a rich person, if you are not of the right color, and if you are not the teacher's pet then you are nothing. You are left out. And they take away what you once had an what you worked so hard to achieve." I told her that in life nothing was fair; but, but that there was always an answer, and that things had a way of working out. I told her that death was no solution. She smiled at me and said: "Mami, there is no answer in standing up for myself against some people, I was sent to Saturday school. In cheer leading I was taken out even though I used to get up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to practice; then they replaced me with someone who used to miss countless times. But since she was seen as more favorable. Since then my world started crashing. I sure hope Crystal doesn't have to go through this" "It also isn't fair, Mami, all the times you have gone to school asking for help and they don't give it to you. The school does things as it sees fit. It is like my coach said when I lost my place at Nationals and was placed as an alternate, 'I hope it's ok because if not, you can get out. There are several that can take your place.'" "You see, Mami. I am tired of being hurt, tired of constantly coming home crying. I am tired of putting on a happy face and pretending that nothing matters after being hurt countless times. I lock myself in my room so that no one sees my pain." Many saw my daughter; she went through thousands of things, but only I saw her tears, her pain and her disenchantment. Many people contributed to her decision. Even I myself contributed to it because in the beginning when I found the first letters some months back in which she said goodbye, I did ask for help. That person that I reached to for help told me: "I guarantee that she is not going to do anything. She just wants attention." I hope that professional who told me that saw the obituary so that she can see if my daughter is now getting her attention. I wonder if all that is sufficient for that person. If she is paying, maybe she will not give such advice again. Hopefully the school is paying closer attention. Meli with her death, ironic as it is, has saved already more than one life. She has also opened a Pandora's box. Andrews is going to realize that indeed there is a problem in our schools with some of the personnel, some of the leaders, and with our youth. Like Meli said: "If we all dropped the act and the injustice; if instead we worked together, we would change not only Andrews but the entire world." I remember her smiling as she told me: "Why can't we all instead be friends, Mami?" I only hope that through her death others can identify their own feelings. If they too are suffering, hopefully they will not ignore it because the pain will remain. Choosing to ignore problems and pain will not make them go away. The problem will grow each day like a monster. So I ask that everyone help our youth. Don't allow a single young person to die in this manner. Don't let another mother die from pain as she continues living. Right now I am not sure hot to go about living; I sometimes don't want to go on. My life has been changed forever. I feel empty. I am in tears and in pain. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Right now I should be saving for her Christmas present which was going to be the down payment on her new Avalanche. Instead, I'm saving for her tombstone. I should be seeing that her college applications be sent in on time and not putting flowers at her grave. May God hold my princess in His arms. May He give her peace and the justice that no one here wanted to give her. Melissa's mom, Lupe Flores are you going to answer my question i posted in every one on your blogs
By Pamela, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 04:11:10 PM
My husband too has psychic abilities and is very good at what he does. It is a challange living with a psychic. He answers everyone else but me. We went to see you in SLC last year when you were here. I have all your books and will sure miss you on Montel. may God bless you. Pam
By deborah, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 04:10:00 PM
Hello dear lady! Thank you for sharing this wonderful story of your family. While I was reading this little treat, I got mesmerized and could picture it all in my mind's eye. It gave me a lift in spirit, reminding me the blessings bestowed upon you and your family, are truly God's way of letting the rest of us know He truly exists and is always with us, and that each and everyone of us have been given blessings of our own. Thank you for sharing, thank you for coming into my life and please know you are all dearly loved!
By Bernette, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 04:04:11 PM
Dear Sylvia, Love you very much! I have some question's for you...Did you have other family members other than your mother, that were dark or gray and caused havoc in your life? Was there Jealousy among others in the family that did not have the gift? What did you do with family like that? Thanks! Bernette from Florida
By anna, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 03:59:38 PM
Hi Sylvia I did'nt recieve a confermation on the web class can it be sent to me again. I did send my question, now just waitijg for confermation.Thank you so very much. Anna Cabrera
By Heather, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 01:19:00 PM
Silvia to be blessed with so much insight is a wonderful thing. I hope one day I will be able to use my ways to be able to be helpful. God bless you and yours. Love to your family from the heart. Its so precious.
By bidis, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 01:14:04 PM
Dear Sylvia, Thank you for sharing your family stories with us. Many blessings, koii
By Irene, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 01:13:56 PM
Dear Sylvia, I hope we hear an update on your family soon. I am anxious to learn when and how Angelina will become an active part of your psychic family. The gifts she possess is exciting and wonderful. This ole world is getting the best in psychic help from you and your family. I anxiously look forward to every book you put out. I am in the midst of reading your latest book on animals. I can't read very much at a time for crying my eyes out, each story is so emotional. Your fan, Irene
By debbie, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 12:40:05 PM
Dearest Sylvia, I just love reading about you and your family. I think it is just wonderful to hear your stories. Sometimes I wish I were more psychic. I have contacted my Spirit Guide. I call him Andy(not sure if that is his name)but he has called out my name. And I have to admit it did startle me,but them this excitement came over me. I have to come to realize that there is something wrong with me mentally. I have talked to my dad,but he had no answers. My mother was no saint and never really took care of me. I feel as though she had something to do with this, because of the way she was and the things she did to me. I wish I could find some answers to this. I would like to move on, but I'm having a hard time. You are truly such a blessing and I know God pointed my way to you. Blessings to you---Debbie
By kathy, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 12:36:06 PM
dear sylvia, this is very important and i need help very badly. my brother is in trouble, he takes care of my mother,who is disabled even though he himself is disabled. i need to knoe what's going to happen with my brother...please it's very important. thank you kathy Page: 1 2 3 You must log in to post a comment. If you don't already have a My Spirit Now account, sign up now. |