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Home >> Psychics (Sylvia) >> Psychics (Sylvia) Articles

How To Break Your Negative Patterns To Lead A Positive Life
A More Positive Lifestyle with Sylvia Browne Psychic Sylvia Browne, World-renowned Psychic Sylvia Browne pictures

by Sylvia Browne

We’ve all formed patterns and rituals throughout our entire life, whether it’s cuddling a favorite teddy bear as we fall asleep at night or twirling our hair when we’re nervous. There are certain things we habitually do when we get up in the morning, such as brushing our teeth and reading the paper, and other things we do before we go to bed, like making sure all the doors are locked or keeping a glass of water on the nightstand (as I do). These types of behaviors are usually automatic and comforting, and they make us feel stable. In fact, if one of these things gets out of sync, we may feel “off center” for the entire day.

You see, we all have a spiritual center for our soul, and the patterns we form are often positive coping mechanisms that keep us in balance when something makes us uncomfortable or afraid. Some of you may remember a comedian by the name of Don Knotts, who played Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show. When he started out, he had such horrible stage fright that it was paralyzing, so for his stand-up act on The Steve Allen Show, he portrayed a man giving a speech who was so nervous he could barely talk, much less swallow. He twitched and jiggled, and everyone laughed because they could all identify with that phobia. Not until many years later did the public find out that this wasn’t just Don’s shtick, it was a real pattern that had plagued him most of his life – that is, until he decided to turn it into something positive. As he continued acting out his fear in front of an audience, his stage fright disappeared.

Negative Patterns and Bad Habits

Unfortunately, it sometimes happens that the coping skills we develop to deal with challenging situations are more destructive that the feelings of insecurity we’re trying to avoid in the first place, and then, because we live in this house or temple that we call a body, these physical patterns affect our spiritual growth. We may delude ourselves into thinking that certain behaviors are positive mechanisms, because sometimes there’s a fine line between a healthy habit and an obsessive one. For instance, it’s hygienically mandatory to wash our hands before meals and after taking a trip to the restroom, but what if, like a client I had, we feel compelled to wash our hands 104 times a day? Any action, deed, or emotion – even a positive one – becomes destructive when pushed too far.

Observe yourself and others as you reinforce your chosen habits with your words and actions: “I can’t live without my morning coffee,” “I have to have a few cocktails when I’m nervous [or happy or sad or whatever],” or “With my schedule, I need drugs to keep me at peak performance.” Statements like these not only program your behavior, but justify it as well.

It takes some time and definitely some backtracking to find the root or core of these negative patterns, or to determine when we first let them come into our consciousness. Many people in our society have developed the pattern of eating to comfort themselves, even though they know it’s destructive, because they feel helpless and trapped in their body. Others form a pattern of drinking because they want to be accepted – maybe it makes them feel more socially “in.” (And I’m not talking about a glass of wine at dinner – I’m referring to the folks who think they need a drink for courage or to get a buzz, and they don’t stop.) And then there are those who decide to smoke because they want to be “cool,” and just like alcohol, the cigarettes become a necessary companion. I’ll say here, without reservation, that with “friends” like these, you don’t need enemies!

Drugs, while more deadly (and make no mistake, they are deadly), have the same allure, and the same seduction: “I’ll be part of the group,” or “I’ll escape my worries.” Even prescription medications can be as lethal as any drug on the street when they’re abused, but people often convince themselves that if their pills came from a pharmacy, they must be all right. This is a fool’s paradise, because all these patterns are far more harmful than any insecurity we may have.

A less obvious habit that many people develop is that of being disappointed in themselves and beating themselves up. This is a behavior that may have started all the way back in childhood, or as recently as  yesterday – anytime your expectations of yourself were greater than what you could accomplish: “I didn’t pass the test, so I must be stupid,” “I didn’t win the game, which means I disappointed everyone,” “I don’t dress as well as everyone else, so I’m a nerd,” “My brother can do everything better, which is why Mom and Dad like him better,” “No matter what I try to do it fails, so I might as well give up,” and strangely enough in this day of heightened awareness, “Nothing goes right for me, so I must be cursed.”

We could go on and on with these mental patterns that take root, flavor our lives, and, if we let them, haunt us forever. Many times we make poor decisions in life because we settle for less, thinking we’re unworthy. But we must remember that these behaviors aren’t defects of our innate soul or self, they’re simply part of life in the physical world.

 
Sylvia Browne is without question, "America's #1 Psychic," an internationally known psychic and medium.


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Comments


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By Paula, Monday, March 07, 2011 01:23:15 PM
Dear Sylvia,my name is paula and i love your books,and i love you for all you do for everyone,my life was not an easy life,but i believe i was put here for a reason,to help others,my parents whom i loved with all my heart were both drinkers,and growing up as a young child was horrible,fighting,curseing,cops at our house everyday was sad,i feel my mother had some kind of mental illness,back then they had no cures only shock treatments,which one of my family members had,it only made her worse,I don:t like to go back to those days,it only brings sadness,i lost most of my family to drinking and almost lost my brother,I always think postive and think the best of all,sometimes thats dose not work out,I am going threw a painful time in my life and pray to my angels and god that i find my way in life,love and happiness,i have fibromyalgia and it is a terrible condition to have,but going on your website makes me feel better and loved,i donT know why,but letting this out of my heart makes me feel understood and postive,you have a way about you that gives off an aura of love,peace,kindness,Thankyou for all you do for all ,god bless you for being an angel,i will always think of you that way,love Paula
By Terry, Monday, December 06, 2010 11:00:11 PM
By Terry, Monday, December 6, 2010 9:00 p.m. I don't drink at all like I use to. I guess it took me to go through the windshield of my car when a trucker ran me off the road. My whole world has turned around. Husband left me with my younger son, Mom disowned me. Three deaths in my family. Sylvia your one of the only things that keeps me not doing myself in. I love you and hope and prey to meet you and chris someday.
By crystal, Wednesday, December 23, 2009 12:33:57 PM
thank you sylvia, u are the best thank god for u an ur son, hate to here chris is divorced, they seem like a great family. wish u an chris a merry christmas. love u so much , hope one day to get to come to a reading. if i win the lottery,lol love u alot.my life with sylvia brown book by ur son was the best, i couldnt put it down until i read it front front to back. write more chris,
By Bonnie, Wednesday, June 03, 2009 12:42:30 AM
My 28 yr. old daughter has bipolar, fibromyalgia, and alot of other stuff. I've tried everything I can to help her. I've been hard on myself b/c I couldn't and still cannot help her. She has such a good heart. She deserves a better life. Bipolar is so hard to deal with. Although she has been through so much - and she can be difficult - everytime she hits bottom (that happens alot) she picks herself up and goes on. She had endomitriosos and was told she could never have kids, now she has the most beautiful baby girl.I have 2 other kids with OCD. I have discovered with all of my kids there is a silver lining in all of the hard circumstances. I am going to try and remember to be easy on myself and to stop blaming myself for so many things that were out of my control.
By Bonnie, Wednesday, June 03, 2009 12:23:05 AM
By melisa, Tuesday, June 02, 2009 08:48:56 PM
i really feel, and for the longest time as far back as i can remember, i did not want to come here, i always felt that way, my mom told me i was a month late, that i was peeling when i came out, anit that crazy,why its that?i know this is my last life. i hope cause i do not want to come back, i dont like it here, the world is so nice, its the people thats not.
By Tammy, Friday, May 22, 2009 07:23:50 AM
Dear, Sylvia, I come from a family of deppression.My Aunt commited suicide. my Mother tried 3xs my brother almost made it but a gaurdian angel intervined. For along time I ran from my depression. Then My mother finally talked me into going to the necessary Drs. I have been diagnoised with severe depression bipolar with manic tendecies. High anxiety acraphobic as well as mild to severe agoraphobic. I have my meds reviewed every 3 mo. and have tried counseling. I lost my Mom June 07 my brother july 08. both were my support and trusted friends. I still have such a hole in my heart. I can not explain the feelings. I also lost my dog Raider while I was working on my dual diagnoises. A excellent program. located in Norfork, N.E. THE WOMENS IMPOWERING LIFE LINE.At first I did not want anything to so with it. but as time went on I knew it was in my chart. MY Mother got to see me clean and sober a month almost the my entry date, my Mother passed.I guess the point to all this is you really helped me deal with some of the questions as I am sure alot of people do. The other side is one that i think comforted me the most. But there is not one book I have not read except your latest healing. My mother loved you! I think the world of you I have the upmost respect for you and I am getting to know more about your son Chris. If you get to read this or your son Chris I would love to hear some advise. learn about my spirit guide and anything else you would have time for. You truely are an angel. All my sincere best to you and your family. Tammy from Nebraska. thank you.
By MARSHA, Monday, April 20, 2009 09:48:49 PM
I LOVE U!!!!!!!
By Charlotte, Monday, April 20, 2009 08:57:54 PM
I have battled addictions of many, many kinds my whole life (im 49) for me the trick is to remember to love and accept myself with all my flaws because my flaws are me. That does not work all the time either, Thanks for reminding us all to try to stay in the light.
By June, Monday, April 20, 2009 01:48:09 PM
Sylvia, Thank you so much for your articles on this web site. My husband and I have learned so much from you. I find your daily affirmations to be really helpful in changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. I just print them out and hang them throughout the house. So whenever I walk past them, I repeat the ones that catch my eye three times. I think this has really made a positive difference in my life especially in these troubled times. I send you thanks, much love, and many blessings. June from Denver

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