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The Importance of Family Relationships
Sylvia Browne Talks About Family Relationships Psychic Sylvia Browne, World-renowned Psychic Sylvia Browne pictures by Sylvia Browne

Today, on the eve of Mother's Day, I’m going to explore our much deeper relationships – our family. These are the ones that really brand our souls and impact our entire lives. This, or course, brings us to our families.

The Parent-Child Connection

They say that we learn about love from our parents. In my case, however, this wasn’t entirely true – I was taught about it by my grandmother Ada and my father, but certainly not by my mother. It’s true that she grew up in an age when women didn’t have much choice except to get married and have a family, and they usually had to go directly from their parents’ homes to do so. Of course, things in my time weren’t that different. In fact, I remember these two girls from my high school who got an apartment together after graduation. They were branded as “love girls” and they never did get married.

My mother was a very unhappy person, and I realized early on that she was also a prescription-drug addict. I think that’s why to this day I have trouble with painkillers and even Novocain. It seems almost too coincidental that about the same time I realized that my mother needed her “pills” (I was about 12 years old at the time). I became allergic to penicillin. It continued from there, to the point that even today I’m sensitive to m any drugs that others commonly take.

I think that we make ourselves predisposed to “family weaknesses” by telling ourselves that we inherited them. Yes I believe that addictions are illnesses, but they can be overcome if we’re aware that we picked them as tests for our spiritual growth. It’s almost too easy to say, “I come from an alcoholic family; therefore, I’m an alcoholic too.”

Recently, for instance, I met a man in a restaurant who said that his parents were alcoholics, so he was one as well, I said, “No, that’s what you chose to do. Even more important, if you knew that they were alcoholics, then you could have gotten counseling to help your supposed genetic weakness.” Then I went further by telling him, “And since your parents both died of liver failure, that’s not a great thing to emulate.”

He subsequently tried to use my philosophy against me by retorting, “But I probably picked that, too.”

“No,” I replied, “you picked it to overcome disease, not to go off track by using it as an excuse to drink.”

He sat there quietly for several minutes, and when the waitress came over, he declined another drink. I’m sure that our exchange didn’t instantly fix him, but what we can do in life is plant seeds – some take root and some don’t, but we shouldn’t let that stop from putting them in the ground in a loving and caring way.

My mother was a victim and a martyr, and she used me to keep my father around. I was the apple of his eye, so her favorite theme was this, “Go cheer Daddy up so that he’ll be in a good mood.” I resented it, but it served me very well in years to come in that I learned to be a performer at a young age.

Mother was never given to affection or words of love – only criticism. I was too tall, my hair was unruly, and she resented me for making my father happy (even though she was the one who asked me to do so). I knew very early on that I was in a no-win situation with her, so rather than dwell on all the hurt I could have sustained, I shut her out and gravitated toward the warm love of my grandmother, uncle, and father.

Now you can choose to carry around one or both of your parents’ mistakes, or you can use them to become a better mother or father yourself. If you don’t turn your life’s negatives to positives, you spend your days not learning…and you end up spiritually bankrupt. Personally, I took what my mother did and how she was and turned it into everything I didn’t want to do or be.

In other words, many times we should actually be grateful to such negative entities because they can help us grow spiritually – they strengthen our souls and make us better human beings. Yet too often people use a challenging home life as the excuse to be abusive, or they spend their days feeling martyred. What a royal waste of time! On top of that, everybody gets tired of hearing about how abused they were and how they used this as an emotional crutch year after year. No one escapes rejection or pain; it’s what we do with it that makes our spirits grow.

Mothers and Daughters

Although the relationship between my mother and me didn’t work out, I’ve seen so many beautiful mom-daughter connections. After losing her mother, one woman even told me, “She was my best friend.” Yet some women have never been taught to bond. Men seem to do it with ease, but we women have so m any emotions flowing that it’s sometimes hard for us to find a common ground. This isn’t a criticism; it’s merely the way we’re made. Girls are close to their mothers when they’re young and then transfer their feelings to their fathers (if he’s around). This is normal and healthy because it shows that the female is trying to balance herself between the emotional and linear intellect. The mind searches to duplicate itself with a balance of both male and female, and this is especially true with young children.

There’s a definite sense of vying for position with the mother that often happens…especially during the teenage years. If you can bite the bullet at this time and be a loving friend or spiritual light to your daughter, you’ll get through it. You might get a little battered in the process, but you’ll be stronger for it. Ladies, as you’re reading these words, honestly remember how you were at that age – trust me, it will make things easier.

Mothers and Sons

Now let’s move on to the mother-son relationship. As we’ll see, this tie can be less stressful thanks to the opposite-sex connection. The relationship between mother and son can certainly be complex, but it’s usually not as emotional as that of the two females. You may say I’m prejudiced because I raised boys, but I also had a foster daughter named Mary who lived with us from the time she was 6 until age 22.

The old saying “A boy is a son  until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life” can be true in many instances, but even in my readings, I find that eight times out of ten, boys stay close to their mothers. This simply proves that women are more resourceful and independent than we give them credit for. Of course I’m not trying to say that we’re creating a bunch of mama’s boys, but since men have been tribal from the beginning of time, it’s natural for them to try to keep the clan together.

More often than not, if mothers ask their sons, “But if you do it this way, wouldn’t you have better results?” it will reap greater rewards than barking, “This is wrong because I say so!” In this way, you’re giving them suggestions to see the logic, rather than your being the controlling matriarchal figure. Brutal enforcement never works; it only demeans the individual, especially if he’s male. To hit or abuse in any way is never, ever acceptable for anyone, it simply teaches boys that things are acquired through physical violence…and the world has had enough of that.

And as I used to tell my high-school girls when I was teaching, males are far more sensitive than we give them credit for. Once upon a time they could be warriors, hunters and builders; today, most men can’t. Their primordial instincts have been squelched by modern-day office structures, and their egos have become quite fragile in the process.

Mothers also can’t treat their boys like alien beings or blame whatever negative relationships they’ve had with males on them. Rather note that there can be a real camaraderie with sons…a true and caring friendship. I’m sure that it was tough for my boys in the early days to have a psychic mother on television. They got a lot of teasing at school, more than they realized that I knew.

Sylvia Browne is without question, "America's #1 Psychic," an internationally known psychic and medium.

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By Carol, Sunday, May 10, 2009 04:51:07 AM
Happy Mother's Day Sylvia. You are not only an inspiration to so many people but you are a God Send also. If it weren't for you and your books I wouldn't have been able to get where I am today with my Mothers Death 5 yrs ago. I know people are probably saying 5 yrs! "Get over it already" but it's hard for me. I took care of her ever since she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I learned to have more patience and to be more loving through this difficult time. When I lost her I thought I lost the world, she was my best friend and then I didn't have her anymore for advice or just a small thing as a hug anymore. I made sure I saw you here in Chicago a few yrs ago and being able to have you sign my "Book of Prayers" made my Mother's Day better every year/ Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Carol W.
By "chris"tine, Saturday, May 09, 2009 11:17:20 PM
Happy Mothers Day, Sylvia, Hope your day is wonderfull and everything you wish for. May god bless you and your family. I too am a mother and step mother. My new children are the pets though they keep me on my toes. thank you for all you do and hope all is well can't wait to see your show, even though I did not get platium ticket because of the snow. love ya
By Sharon, Saturday, May 09, 2009 11:08:29 PM
Happy Mother's Day, Sylvia and to all the mothers out there have a wonderful and blessed day....... Sharon E.
By Carol, Saturday, May 09, 2009 11:00:13 PM
Dearest Sylvia I loved your Mother's Day message. It rang loud and clear in my ears. I too had a mother that made me the mother of my siblings. Too much drama and tramma made me realize that I wanted the opposite. I married a man nothing like my father (48 yrs ago) and have a wonderful successful son who calls home at least once a week where ever he is on this planet. My daughter in law is a darling with a grand daughter so very special. Drama and tramma became bliss. I wish the same to all who find themselves in the same circumstances as we had. Shake the dust from your feet and move on.
By Wendy, Saturday, May 09, 2009 10:52:10 PM
Thank you sylvia for the nice message. I am the mother of three boys, my youngest son passed away 8 months ago. he took his own life. Age 31. I miss him more than life itself. It seems that a chain has been broken in my life. As a mother I want to say Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there, and to always listen real good to your children. No matter how long it takes. God Bless All of You. Jane W Massachusetts
By Valerie, Saturday, May 09, 2009 09:12:00 PM
*sings* "For she's a jolly good fellow, lala lalal lalala la." HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY SYLVIE. Are you on the internet other places too, like Twitter?
By Robin, Saturday, May 09, 2009 08:46:05 PM
Happy Mother's Day to you Sylvia and all other Mothers that are reading this. Both of My Sons gave me a reason to live during some of the worst periods of my life. Sylvia (with all of your books and webcasts) has helped me to understand more about myself and my relationships with my own mother, family, friends and others. I'm still trying to improve my life and as long as I can read or listen to Sylvia and Chris, I know with their help I will find peace within myself.
By Irene, Saturday, May 09, 2009 08:20:12 PM
Hello and Happy Mothers Day Sylvia. This is an extra special Mothers Day because you taught me about Mother "Azna". I will never be able to live through a Mothers Day again without thinking about you, Sylvia, and thanking you for the blessing of the knowledge of Mother God you have given to me and the rest of the world. I wasn't raised knowing about the Mother God. My life is so much richer and Mothers Day is so much more blessed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Irene P
By Dawn, Saturday, May 09, 2009 08:07:41 PM
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY SYLVIA! Thank you for your message. I have a mom that is similar in personality to your mother. I use to have a hard time dealing with it. Thanks to your advise of telling her I love her but can no longer taker her abuse and surrounding myself with the white light, mirrors and positive thinking, all that stress has disolved and my mother at times seems to be easier to get a long with. God Bless
By Carolyn, Saturday, May 09, 2009 07:42:07 PM
Hi Sylvia, I wish you the happiest Mother's Day ever!! You are truly an inspiration to me, and all others that seek you. My mom and I have a weird relationship, but I love her to no end. I am an only child, and she was hard on me, but i look at it as - - her making me the person that I am today. My relationship with my mom only helped me to be more closer and bonded to my daughter. I've been told by some that I should not be "friends" with my children, but I am. My daughter is truly my best friend. Thank you Sylvia for all you do. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF THE MOTHERS OUT THERE. GOD BLESS US ALL.

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