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Home >> Psychics (Sylvia) >> Psychics (Sylvia) Articles

The Importance of Family Relationships
Sylvia Browne Talks About Family Relationships Psychic Sylvia Browne, World-renowned Psychic Sylvia Browne pictures by Sylvia Browne

Today, on the eve of Mother's Day, I’m going to explore our much deeper relationships – our family. These are the ones that really brand our souls and impact our entire lives. This, or course, brings us to our families.


The Parent-Child Connection

They say that we learn about love from our parents. In my case, however, this wasn’t entirely true – I was taught about it by my grandmother Ada and my father, but certainly not by my mother. It’s true that she grew up in an age when women didn’t have much choice except to get married and have a family, and they usually had to go directly from their parents’ homes to do so. Of course, things in my time weren’t that different. In fact, I remember these two girls from my high school who got an apartment together after graduation. They were branded as “love girls” and they never did get married.

My mother was a very unhappy person, and I realized early on that she was also a prescription-drug addict. I think that’s why to this day I have trouble with painkillers and even Novocain. It seems almost too coincidental that about the same time I realized that my mother needed her “pills” (I was about 12 years old at the time). I became allergic to penicillin. It continued from there, to the point that even today I’m sensitive to m any drugs that others commonly take.

I think that we make ourselves predisposed to “family weaknesses” by telling ourselves that we inherited them. Yes I believe that addictions are illnesses, but they can be overcome if we’re aware that we picked them as tests for our spiritual growth. It’s almost too easy to say, “I come from an alcoholic family; therefore, I’m an alcoholic too.”

Recently, for instance, I met a man in a restaurant who said that his parents were alcoholics, so he was one as well, I said, “No, that’s what you chose to do. Even more important, if you knew that they were alcoholics, then you could have gotten counseling to help your supposed genetic weakness.” Then I went further by telling him, “And since your parents both died of liver failure, that’s not a great thing to emulate.”

He subsequently tried to use my philosophy against me by retorting, “But I probably picked that, too.”

“No,” I replied, “you picked it to overcome disease, not to go off track by using it as an excuse to drink.”

He sat there quietly for several minutes, and when the waitress came over, he declined another drink. I’m sure that our exchange didn’t instantly fix him, but what we can do in life is plant seeds – some take root and some don’t, but we shouldn’t let that stop from putting them in the ground in a loving and caring way.

My mother was a victim and a martyr, and she used me to keep my father around. I was the apple of his eye, so her favorite theme was this, “Go cheer Daddy up so that he’ll be in a good mood.” I resented it, but it served me very well in years to come in that I learned to be a performer at a young age.

Mother was never given to affection or words of love – only criticism. I was too tall, my hair was unruly, and she resented me for making my father happy (even though she was the one who asked me to do so). I knew very early on that I was in a no-win situation with her, so rather than dwell on all the hurt I could have sustained, I shut her out and gravitated toward the warm love of my grandmother, uncle, and father.

Now you can choose to carry around one or both of your parents’ mistakes, or you can use them to become a better mother or father yourself. If you don’t turn your life’s negatives to positives, you spend your days not learning…and you end up spiritually bankrupt. Personally, I took what my mother did and how she was and turned it into everything I didn’t want to do or be.

In other words, many times we should actually be grateful to such negative entities because they can help us grow spiritually – they strengthen our souls and make us better human beings. Yet too often people use a challenging home life as the excuse to be abusive, or they spend their days feeling martyred. What a royal waste of time! On top of that, everybody gets tired of hearing about how abused they were and how they used this as an emotional crutch year after year. No one escapes rejection or pain; it’s what we do with it that makes our spirits grow.


Mothers and Daughters

Although the relationship between my mother and me didn’t work out, I’ve seen so many beautiful mom-daughter connections. After losing her mother, one woman even told me, “She was my best friend.” Yet some women have never been taught to bond. Men seem to do it with ease, but we women have so m any emotions flowing that it’s sometimes hard for us to find a common ground. This isn’t a criticism; it’s merely the way we’re made. Girls are close to their mothers when they’re young and then transfer their feelings to their fathers (if he’s around). This is normal and healthy because it shows that the female is trying to balance herself between the emotional and linear intellect. The mind searches to duplicate itself with a balance of both male and female, and this is especially true with young children.

There’s a definite sense of vying for position with the mother that often happens…especially during the teenage years. If you can bite the bullet at this time and be a loving friend or spiritual light to your daughter, you’ll get through it. You might get a little battered in the process, but you’ll be stronger for it. Ladies, as you’re reading these words, honestly remember how you were at that age – trust me, it will make things easier.


Mothers and Sons

Now let’s move on to the mother-son relationship. As we’ll see, this tie can be less stressful thanks to the opposite-sex connection. The relationship between mother and son can certainly be complex, but it’s usually not as emotional as that of the two females. You may say I’m prejudiced because I raised boys, but I also had a foster daughter named Mary who lived with us from the time she was 6 until age 22.

The old saying “A boy is a son  until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life” can be true in many instances, but even in my readings, I find that eight times out of ten, boys stay close to their mothers. This simply proves that women are more resourceful and independent than we give them credit for. Of course I’m not trying to say that we’re creating a bunch of mama’s boys, but since men have been tribal from the beginning of time, it’s natural for them to try to keep the clan together.

More often than not, if mothers ask their sons, “But if you do it this way, wouldn’t you have better results?” it will reap greater rewards than barking, “This is wrong because I say so!” In this way, you’re giving them suggestions to see the logic, rather than your being the controlling matriarchal figure. Brutal enforcement never works; it only demeans the individual, especially if he’s male. To hit or abuse in any way is never, ever acceptable for anyone, it simply teaches boys that things are acquired through physical violence…and the world has had enough of that.

And as I used to tell my high-school girls when I was teaching, males are far more sensitive than we give them credit for. Once upon a time they could be warriors, hunters and builders; today, most men can’t. Their primordial instincts have been squelched by modern-day office structures, and their egos have become quite fragile in the process.

Mothers also can’t treat their boys like alien beings or blame whatever negative relationships they’ve had with males on them. Rather note that there can be a real camaraderie with sons…a true and caring friendship. I’m sure that it was tough for my boys in the early days to have a psychic mother on television. They got a lot of teasing at school, more than they realized that I knew.


Sylvia Browne is without question, "America's #1 Psychic," an internationally known psychic and medium.

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Comments


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By Edie, Saturday, May 09, 2009 02:31:10 PM
Sylvia, what a great article! My only child, a son, has had so many problems in his life(and is in jail at this moment). I love him more than life itself, and while we have a very close relationship, I realize that I have enabled him to continue his destructive pattern in many ways. I had a wonderful relationship with both of my parents, although I grew up in an abusive household. Both of my parents have passed and I miss them terribly. In the past two weeks, I have noticed a very strange phenomenon. My mother's given name was "Tulip", which is what everyone called her. Every day (including today) I have come across the word "tulip" several times! I have heard it mentioned on television, in emails, and other correspondence. This has not happened once or twice; it has been several times a day for the past two weeks. I found a small box in my mailbox containing a lovely crystal bracelet with a tulip! I still do not know how it got there. I suppose my mother is trying to send me a message of some sort, but I don't know what it is. Hopefully, I will find out that it is nothing ominous! I hope that you have a wonderful Mother's Day, Sylvia. I love reading your articles on SpiritNow every day. Congratulations on your recent marriage, and on raising great, successful, loving boys!!
By Larry, Saturday, May 09, 2009 02:30:54 PM
Sylvia, I was and am a single parent Father of one Son who I am Very Proud of. He has given me a Grandson Alexander who just turned 6. I worked very hard to give him the Best Education my money could buy and it was worth every penny. I am Disabled now from Diabees type 1, But I taught my Son that boys are Momma's boys no matter what anyone says, we would crawl thru glass for our Mother's I know I would.He is close to his Mother.
By Edie, Saturday, May 09, 2009 02:28:28 PM
Sylvia, what a great article! My only child, a son, has had so many problems in his life(and is in jail at this moment). I love him more than life itself, and while we have a very close relationship, I realize that I have enabled him to continue his destructive pattern in many ways. I had a wonderful relationship with both of my parents, although I grew up in an abusive household. Both of my parents have passed and I miss them terribly. In the past two weeks, I have noticed a very strange phenomenon. My mother's given name was "Tulip", which is what everyone called her. Every day (including today) I have come across the word "tulip" several times! I have heard it mentioned on television, in emails, and other correspondence. This has not happened once or twice; it has been several times a day for the past two weeks. I found a small box in my mailbox containing a lovely crystal bracelet with a tulip! I still do not know how it got there. I suppose my mother is trying to send me a message of some sort, but I don't know what it is. Hopefully, I will find out that it is nothing ominous! I hope that you have a wonderful Mother's Day, Sylvia. I love reading your articles on SpiritNow every day. Congratulations on your recent marriage, and on raising great, successful, loving boys!!
By moy, Saturday, May 09, 2009 02:17:07 PM
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY SYLVIA! YOU HAVE BEEN A GREAT INSPIRATION IN MY LIFE AND A GREAT TEACHER IN LIFE. AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH US ALL AND HELPING US HAVE A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING HOW TO LIVE OUR LIFE. HAVE A WONDERFUL BLESS MOTHER'S DAY AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY MIND, HEART AND SOUL ALONG WITH GOD AND MOTHER GOD ETC...LOVE, MOY (CERRITOS, CA)
By Martha, Saturday, May 09, 2009 02:03:25 PM
Oh Sylvia. I thank you so much for this Mother's Day article. You have put into words, all the things that just swirl around my mind, in a jumble, and you have makde it clear & to the point. It's kind of strange, but I have two Sons & they are so different, yet so alike. We faced so many hard times, while they were growing up, including abuse at the hands of their father & stepmother. One of them has risen above it all, & built he and his family a wonderful life. The other has not & struggles & drinks, & has not risen to his true potential. They are both wonderful young men, & I am proud to be their Mother. I can remain cool & to the point with the Son who has his life on track. However, there is no way I can have a cool discussion with the Son who is struggling. I wonder why this is? Well, thank you for the article & have a Happy & Blessed Mother's Day!!! Love & Hugs, ~Martha P
By Jeanne, Saturday, May 09, 2009 01:55:19 PM
Thank you for this article! My family use to be extremely close,when my father passed,the whole family has seemed to fall apart. As years have gone by things have only gotten worse. I am from a family of 10 there are 5 of us left. I was brought up in a loving home and you would think w/ the lose of so many in a short time.That this would bring us closer but it hasn't and it does hurt alot. But I have accepted that I have a family and I need to care to them and put aside the differences w/ my mom and two sisters. I am in a lose lose situation with what ever comes along. Some say I have distant myself from some in the family. Maybe I have but with all the negatives I knew after time that I wouldn't and couldn't raise my four children this way. I miss my mom as to the way it use to be and my sisters but I can not change who they are now. The 3 of them tend to stick together and whatever my two sisters say to mom she believes,never asks me about anything but is the first to judge me. I use to think of my parents as equals but as the years have passed I now realize my father was the rock of the family. I love my mom and sisters but can not subject myself or my children to the damned if I do~damned if I don't world. I only pray that they will realize their faults and stop judging me. If God wants it to be different it will be done. But I have to live my life w/ my children in a positive way with or with out my mom and sisters. My children have the utmost respect for me and they see what the 3 are doing. I never talk negative about the 3 I tell my children to say a pray for them that is all we can do.
By michele, Saturday, May 09, 2009 01:49:46 PM
Happy Mothers Day Sylvia, From what I could see you have a lovely son you did a fine job as being Chris mother Michele
By Heather, Saturday, May 09, 2009 01:47:12 PM
Happy Mother's Day Sylvia! I Love you and everything you do. I really related to the Mother-Daughter section of this article. I was the worst teenager and put my mother through HELL. Now, that I am a mother I truely understand the emotional feelings that she went through at that time. Now, that we have rekindled our relationship, she is terminally ill with cancer and won't be here much longer. I am pregnant with my second daughter and am so sad that she may not be here. Thanks for this article, it really touched my heart. Blessed Be, Heather Martin
By Debbie, Saturday, May 09, 2009 01:24:00 PM
by Debbie Sat.May9,2009 10:15 Am Happy Mothers Day Sylvia. I am thankfull that I have wonderfull twin boys who are now 32yrs young. Of course a lot of times we see things in different view points, but were still a family and I appreciate that. I hope you have a wonderful day tommorrow,as well as the rest of the moms in the world.
By nancy, Saturday, May 09, 2009 01:11:26 PM
Let us not forget, but remember and appreciate our blessed Mother God, and beloved Mother Earth!Without their divine blessings we would not be here experiencing the many facets of being.

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