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Home >> Psychics (Sylvia) >> Psychics (Sylvia) Articles

The Importance of Family Relationships
Sylvia Browne Talks About Family Relationships Psychic Sylvia Browne, World-renowned Psychic Sylvia Browne pictures by Sylvia Browne

Today, on the eve of Mother's Day, I’m going to explore our much deeper relationships – our family. These are the ones that really brand our souls and impact our entire lives. This, or course, brings us to our families.


The Parent-Child Connection

They say that we learn about love from our parents. In my case, however, this wasn’t entirely true – I was taught about it by my grandmother Ada and my father, but certainly not by my mother. It’s true that she grew up in an age when women didn’t have much choice except to get married and have a family, and they usually had to go directly from their parents’ homes to do so. Of course, things in my time weren’t that different. In fact, I remember these two girls from my high school who got an apartment together after graduation. They were branded as “love girls” and they never did get married.

My mother was a very unhappy person, and I realized early on that she was also a prescription-drug addict. I think that’s why to this day I have trouble with painkillers and even Novocain. It seems almost too coincidental that about the same time I realized that my mother needed her “pills” (I was about 12 years old at the time). I became allergic to penicillin. It continued from there, to the point that even today I’m sensitive to m any drugs that others commonly take.

I think that we make ourselves predisposed to “family weaknesses” by telling ourselves that we inherited them. Yes I believe that addictions are illnesses, but they can be overcome if we’re aware that we picked them as tests for our spiritual growth. It’s almost too easy to say, “I come from an alcoholic family; therefore, I’m an alcoholic too.”

Recently, for instance, I met a man in a restaurant who said that his parents were alcoholics, so he was one as well, I said, “No, that’s what you chose to do. Even more important, if you knew that they were alcoholics, then you could have gotten counseling to help your supposed genetic weakness.” Then I went further by telling him, “And since your parents both died of liver failure, that’s not a great thing to emulate.”

He subsequently tried to use my philosophy against me by retorting, “But I probably picked that, too.”

“No,” I replied, “you picked it to overcome disease, not to go off track by using it as an excuse to drink.”

He sat there quietly for several minutes, and when the waitress came over, he declined another drink. I’m sure that our exchange didn’t instantly fix him, but what we can do in life is plant seeds – some take root and some don’t, but we shouldn’t let that stop from putting them in the ground in a loving and caring way.

My mother was a victim and a martyr, and she used me to keep my father around. I was the apple of his eye, so her favorite theme was this, “Go cheer Daddy up so that he’ll be in a good mood.” I resented it, but it served me very well in years to come in that I learned to be a performer at a young age.

Mother was never given to affection or words of love – only criticism. I was too tall, my hair was unruly, and she resented me for making my father happy (even though she was the one who asked me to do so). I knew very early on that I was in a no-win situation with her, so rather than dwell on all the hurt I could have sustained, I shut her out and gravitated toward the warm love of my grandmother, uncle, and father.

Now you can choose to carry around one or both of your parents’ mistakes, or you can use them to become a better mother or father yourself. If you don’t turn your life’s negatives to positives, you spend your days not learning…and you end up spiritually bankrupt. Personally, I took what my mother did and how she was and turned it into everything I didn’t want to do or be.

In other words, many times we should actually be grateful to such negative entities because they can help us grow spiritually – they strengthen our souls and make us better human beings. Yet too often people use a challenging home life as the excuse to be abusive, or they spend their days feeling martyred. What a royal waste of time! On top of that, everybody gets tired of hearing about how abused they were and how they used this as an emotional crutch year after year. No one escapes rejection or pain; it’s what we do with it that makes our spirits grow.


Mothers and Daughters

Although the relationship between my mother and me didn’t work out, I’ve seen so many beautiful mom-daughter connections. After losing her mother, one woman even told me, “She was my best friend.” Yet some women have never been taught to bond. Men seem to do it with ease, but we women have so m any emotions flowing that it’s sometimes hard for us to find a common ground. This isn’t a criticism; it’s merely the way we’re made. Girls are close to their mothers when they’re young and then transfer their feelings to their fathers (if he’s around). This is normal and healthy because it shows that the female is trying to balance herself between the emotional and linear intellect. The mind searches to duplicate itself with a balance of both male and female, and this is especially true with young children.

There’s a definite sense of vying for position with the mother that often happens…especially during the teenage years. If you can bite the bullet at this time and be a loving friend or spiritual light to your daughter, you’ll get through it. You might get a little battered in the process, but you’ll be stronger for it. Ladies, as you’re reading these words, honestly remember how you were at that age – trust me, it will make things easier.


Mothers and Sons

Now let’s move on to the mother-son relationship. As we’ll see, this tie can be less stressful thanks to the opposite-sex connection. The relationship between mother and son can certainly be complex, but it’s usually not as emotional as that of the two females. You may say I’m prejudiced because I raised boys, but I also had a foster daughter named Mary who lived with us from the time she was 6 until age 22.

The old saying “A boy is a son  until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life” can be true in many instances, but even in my readings, I find that eight times out of ten, boys stay close to their mothers. This simply proves that women are more resourceful and independent than we give them credit for. Of course I’m not trying to say that we’re creating a bunch of mama’s boys, but since men have been tribal from the beginning of time, it’s natural for them to try to keep the clan together.

More often than not, if mothers ask their sons, “But if you do it this way, wouldn’t you have better results?” it will reap greater rewards than barking, “This is wrong because I say so!” In this way, you’re giving them suggestions to see the logic, rather than your being the controlling matriarchal figure. Brutal enforcement never works; it only demeans the individual, especially if he’s male. To hit or abuse in any way is never, ever acceptable for anyone, it simply teaches boys that things are acquired through physical violence…and the world has had enough of that.

And as I used to tell my high-school girls when I was teaching, males are far more sensitive than we give them credit for. Once upon a time they could be warriors, hunters and builders; today, most men can’t. Their primordial instincts have been squelched by modern-day office structures, and their egos have become quite fragile in the process.

Mothers also can’t treat their boys like alien beings or blame whatever negative relationships they’ve had with males on them. Rather note that there can be a real camaraderie with sons…a true and caring friendship. I’m sure that it was tough for my boys in the early days to have a psychic mother on television. They got a lot of teasing at school, more than they realized that I knew.


Sylvia Browne is without question, "America's #1 Psychic," an internationally known psychic and medium.

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Comments


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By barbara, Monday, July 23, 2012 04:05:08 PM
I WAS TOLD RECENTLY BY A SO- CALLED WELL KNOWN ANGEL PSYCHIC THAT MY SOUL WAS DEAD, SO TOLD TO HER BY MY GUARDIAN ANGELS. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY? MY SOUL IS DEAD!???
By Desire', Wednesday, June 03, 2009 11:59:53 AM
Hi Sylvia, This is not about my mother and me it is about my grandmother and I. I am very close to my grandmother Emilie and in December 2008 she was diagnosed with Cervical cancer and has been doing chemo treatment. Cancer is very common in my family and I was wondering my grandmothers out look for beating the cancer and if you see me of my mother getting the cancer? (You may remember my grandmother she was on the Montel William show with you once, it was her and my aunt Tammie asking you about the spirit Micheal Petri in Tammie's house. Thank you Desire'.
By lynn, Sunday, May 24, 2009 02:34:44 PM
Dear Sylvia Hi i just wanted to tell you we love you and your son and thank you for the work you do for the people Sylvia. sylvia. I have a daughter who was my first born child and She has not spoke to me since my mom past away and i asked her what i did wrong and how i could fix it i told her i was sorry for any pain or upsetting her if i did she told me i made her on happy all her life witch i know is not true yes i was21 when i had her and had a lot to learn and i did learn i made mistake i had a beautiful mom who helped me a lot to but she gone to be with the lord the last time i spoke to my daughter was 2006 she was anger and swear at me and throw some photo at me to i just don't understand why she feel this way i told her if i did anything to hurt her or said anything to hurt her i was sorry and when i ask what i did she says hurt her all her life and me and her dad got divorced and later on down the road i got married again and my and my husband now has been married 14 years and have 2 children together my first marriage i had my oldest daughter ans oldest son my son talk to me but my daughter stopped my step daughter dose a lot to come between us my one step daughter wrote and said i tell your daughter everyday she deserve better parents i raised my step daughter to her mother wanted nothing to do with her and now her mother is everything and i am the one that bad i can't understand but i think if they would stop and leave my daughter alone things could get better Sylvia do you see me and my oldest daughter working things out i miss her so much and i love her with all my heart please write me back my heart is broke thank you Lynn
By Kathy, Sunday, May 17, 2009 11:25:37 AM
Dear Sylvia, I read your Mothers Day article. I want you to know that My Mother was my best friend and I miss her dearly. I have a daughter and when she was young we were so close but now she is a Daddys Girl. I'm sitting in the background hopefully waiting for her to come back to me. I also have two sons who are so different.. My second child . but first son.. was so close to me when he was little. I really miss those days... Now he doesn't even want to know me, let alone have a conversation with me. I cannot show him any affection or even go near him that he moves away from me as if I had some terrible diease that he'd catch. He buts heads with me and will NOT "give in" to what I ask him to do. Again I'm told that this will pass and he'll come around, so I'm waiting, but as a mother I am so hurt by his actions toward me. Then on the other hand my third child and second son is very close to me. He will have a conversation with me, he will let me hug him, and will do what is expected of him and make his bed!! The other two tease him as being "a Mamma's Boy". No no he's not a Mamma's boy (as in I do everything for him)... no he respects me and will do for me and he does what's expected of him (sometimes with a grumble but he does it). It is because of this that I will do for him. I have a closeness to him that I so wish I could have with my older two children. I guess the closeness I share with him quells the hurt I feel from my other two children.. but as the saying goes each child is different. It makes a mother think where did I go wrong?.. I raised them with love...I'm told the other two will come around... so I sit and wait...I love them all so much. I csn hear my own Mothers words telling me" You will never know or understand a mother's love until you become a mother" How true my Mothers word are!!! Thank you Sylvia for who you are and the insparation you have been to me.... Kathy K.
By Belinda, Sunday, May 10, 2009 10:31:32 PM
Thank you Sylvia! I am glad for your gift to so many of us searching for answers and comfort in this life. I have been on a quest for answers to my life purpose, and in the process have discovered your many inspirational books as well as your gifted son, Chris. Through yourself and Chris, so many of us have found answers and motivation in our lives. I feel that I'm on a spiritual journey with an unsatiateable hunger for knowledge. Thank you! Belinda
By Pat, Sunday, May 10, 2009 07:45:14 PM
Sylvia Happy Mothers Day to you also. I am a mother of two boys as well. I do find that boys are very loving towards their mom. I hope that everyone out there has a great Mothers Day. I hope that one day I can meet with you. Thank you for being you. god bless you. your friend Pat Sayers
By Joanne, Sunday, May 10, 2009 03:55:24 PM
I am a step mom and my oldest and his wife gave me a gift and a card, I wsa very moved. it is nice to be appreciated . I called my mom and my grandmother, and they are having dinner together, and my aunt. I am very blessed to have a happy mother, and a vibrant, sharpa as a tack 95 year old grandmother, as I expect I will be....thanks to a reading I received from Syvia years ago....Thank you Sylvia. You are an inspiration.
By Sara, Sunday, May 10, 2009 12:36:18 PM
Happy Mothers Day to you too Sylvia. My Mom went to heaven 8 years ago and I miss her so, Her name was Sylvia too. She had to raise me by herself as my father was killed in World War II and I was only 15 months old. So bless her heart she had to be Mother and Father. I told her many times how much I appreciated all she did for me and how sorry I was that I was such a brat as a teen. I thank you for your wonderful books and the web Classes. I am also looking forward to Chris's this week. God Bless you both, Sara SP, MN.
By stacy, Sunday, May 10, 2009 05:06:02 AM
I too am thinking of my mother Evelyn... I have not for many years phoned her on Mother's Day or acknowledged her on her birthdays or offered any words of appreciation towards her...I do love her and she loves me... I just haven't taken the time to remind her that I do love her and am very thankful for all she does and for her being her. We too like most people have had hard times as well as many great times and we continue to do so both in the bad and good...we're healthy. She has taught me alot and continues to be my teacher and I am so thankful for this as I learn and teach my own two beautiful children my son Thomas and my daughter Tessa...As a family we are small in numbers(mom, step dad,8 siblings including myself,youngest brother returned home before being born, however, returned as my youngest sister,together my siblings and I have 5 children and my niece has two sons)so all together there are 13 members in my family, no uncles or aunts that we communicate with from either side of my parents families. In someways I find my family small but in more important ways we are the biggest family to ever exist because we communicate, share and love on another. I will in the morning this year take the time to phone my mom and let her know I do think of her not only on this day but everyday as well. I haven't any money to buy her a gift nor a Mother's Day card but knowing her my words will have greater value and will last longer than anything money could buy.So with this thought I will close today and phone my mom in the morning and let her know I love her and love loving her. Thank you Sylvia for reminding me/us to always share our thoughts and feelings towards one another because we can not read each others minds and that it is very wonderful to be able to share such beauty with all our loved ones as well as all the people in this world. Thanks again for all you do and Thanks for the knowledge you have and continue to give to us all. love Stacy
By stacy, Sunday, May 10, 2009 05:06:02 AM
I too am thinking of my mother Evelyn... I have not for many years phoned her on Mother's Day or acknowledged her on her birthdays or offered any words of appreciation towards her...I do love her and she loves me... I just haven't taken the time to remind her that I do love her and am very thankful for all she does and for her being her. We too like most people have had hard times as well as many great times and we continue to do so both in the bad and good...we're healthy. She has taught me alot and continues to be my teacher and I am so thankful for this as I learn and teach my own two beautiful children my son Thomas and my daughter Tessa...As a family we are small in numbers(mom, step dad,8 siblings including myself,youngest brother returned home before being born, however, returned as my youngest sister,together my siblings and I have 5 children and my niece has two sons)so all together there are 13 members in my family, no uncles or aunts that we communicate with from either side of my parents families. In someways I find my family small but in more important ways we are the biggest family to ever exist because we communicate, share and love on another. I will in the morning this year take the time to phone my mom and let her know I do think of her not only on this day but everyday as well. I haven't any money to buy her a gift nor a Mother's Day card but knowing her my words will have greater value and will last longer than anything money could buy.So with this thought I will close today and phone my mom in the morning and let her know I love her and love loving her. Thank you Sylvia for reminding me/us to always share our thoughts and feelings towards one another because we can not read each others minds and that it is very wonderful to be able to share such beauty with all our loved ones as well as all the people in this world. Thanks again for all you do and Thanks for the knowledge you have and continue to give to us all. love Stacy

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